


Too Late

by daggersandribbons



Category: Gotham - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Five Stages of Grief, Healing, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, You’ll need a tissue, sad ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggersandribbons/pseuds/daggersandribbons
Summary: Ed Nygma is too late.





	Too Late

Edward Nygma was too late. 

The walk through the graveyard seemed endless, every step another reminded why Ed was even in this depressing place anyways. He was surprised to see so many familiar faces: Jim Gordon, Barbara Kean, even Victor Zsasz. Zsasz approached Ed, patting him on the shoulder. 

“This must be rough for you.” He commented, but rough didn’t begin to define how Ed felt. It felt like every fiber of his being was being ripped apart, like he was drowning and just couldn’t get to the surface. The Riddler was silent, he was mourning just as much if not more. He told Ed endlessly to take a chance, to tell Oswald his true feelings. 

But now it was too late. 

Ivy sat at Oswald’s headstone, twisting flower stems together to make him a flower crown.

“For you,” she whispered and sat it on the headstone. Ed stood at Oswald’s grave and cleared his throat. 

“They often say you cannot predict your hour of death, but I think that Oswald knew. I wish I would’ve known. My name is Edward Nygma, Oswald was my friend...I wish I would’ve told him that I loved him, that I was an idiot for not saying it sooner. It’s funny how you miss the strangest things about a person. Like the vein in his forehead that’d pop out when he was angry.” He paused, trying not to cry. Oswald wouldn’t have wanted him to cry, though he couldn’t say the same for the others in attendance.

“He was so perplexing, helping others who had wronged him so many times because whether you loved him or hated him...you were connected. Oswald always said connections are the key to successful business, it’s better to have a wide variety of skills in your arsenal. There’s no words I can say that will fully emphasize just how much he will be missed. Oswald will never be forgotten, how could he ever be?” Ed removed his glasses. “The last words he said to me were: goodnight Ed, if you wake me before nine I will stab you in the chest. Then he went to his room, laid in bed, and passed away. Oswald told me once that he only saw himself dying for Gotham...God he’d be irate to know he died of cardiac arrest.”

The wind blew softly as Ed touched the cool stone. He could talk for hours about how much he loved and missed Oswald Cobblepot, but he figured it was time to let someone else talk. 

“The first time I met Oswald, we joked about men together. He was a pain in the ass yet somehow one of the only people in Gotham I knew I could trust despite his actions. Out of everyone here I thought Oswald would be the last of us to die. Although my fondest memories of him involve a gun to someone’s head, I will miss Oswald.” Barbara said before sitting a plush penguin down. 

The last one to talk was Martin. He was raised by Oswald and was truly the most distraught. Since he couldn’t speak, he had Zsasz read his words.

“Oswald Cobblepot was a kind man, even if you all didn’t get to see it. We’d eat ice cream and watch any movie I wanted, even if he hated it. He was a man who would kill for the ones he loved, he probably would’ve died for us too. I will never forget him.” 

Ed stayed at the headstone after the ceremony. Jim approached him, in his hands a small box. 

“I’m so sorry Ed, I thought he’d outlive all of us. I found these gloves in my desk, they have his name stitched in them so they must’ve been sitting in there for awhile.” Jim said, staring at the ground. Ed wrapped his arms around the man and started crying. 

“Jim, will you come to the manor with me? I-I can’t be there alone, without him. I see him everywhere.” Ed whimpered. Jim sighed, this was a highly mentally unstable man who lost the one person who was keeping him from being fully insane. He could become a shut in, commit a murder, or off himself. Jim tried to think of a reason to say no but when Ed said Lee could stay too, he couldn’t refuse. 

The manor, though still filled with the original furniture, seemed empty without Oswald. 

“Feel free to walk around. Olga doesn’t know that he...isn’t here, so please don’t discuss it. Doors that are shut stay shut.” Ed explained before heading to the kitchen. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in this house before. It suits Oswald well,” Lee murmured. She didn’t usually find herself pitying villains, but she couldn’t help but feel bad for Ed. They were former lovers, she knew how passionately he loved and how long he had hid his love for Oswald. Ed would whisper Oswald’s name at night, she just never told him that she heard it. 

“I always assumed that he would be in control of his own death. The time, the place, the cause...it really reminds you how short our time is.” Jim muttered as he looked around. A loud door slam sent Lee and Jim running up the stairs. 

“Nygma, open the door.” Jim said as he tried the doorknob, it was locked. 

“Ed, please open the door?” Lee asked. 

Ed stood in front of the mirror, the Riddler staring back at him. 

_There’s no way he’s dead. We didn’t do the autopsy, some idiot did. That body in the casket was obviously a clone or something. He wouldn’t leave us._

He nodded and wiped tears from his eyes. Surely Oswald wasn’t really dead, he probably had this planned and was laughing about how silly Ed looked. The rest of the night he locked himself in Oswald’s room, claiming he was cleaning. Anyone who knew Ed well knew that his subconscious would play tricks on him, making the recently deceased appear next to him. 

**Denial**  
“Oswald, I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

_Why? Well, besides the repeated betrayals._

“I’m sorry I never told you how I feel. I love you Oswald, I was too scared to feel happiness, to embrace the happiness you gave me every single day.” 

_Ed, I never stopped loving you. Hearing you say that you love me is all I need. We’ll be unstoppable together, with me at your aide we can rule Gotham._

“Ed, who are you talking to?” Lee asked from outside of the door. Ed walked to the door and turned the handle. 

“I’m talking to Oswald, he’s not dead after all.” Ed chuckled. “He’s just been hiding up here, so mischievous! Say hello Oswald!” 

_Hello there Lee_

Lee stood, hand on her hip as Ed gestured to an empty space. When she didn’t answer, Ed sighed. 

“Don’t be upset with him for hiding. It’s all a part of a bigger plan, just don’t let anyone outside of this manor know.” Ed urged. She nodded slowly as Jim approached. 

“So just to be clear, Oswald is alive and in this room?” Lee summarized. Jim raised his brow as Ed nodded slowly. He didn’t understand what they weren’t grasping about the situation.

“Nygma, how about we get some food? You’ve been dealing with the funeral all day, you need to eat. I’ll buy your food.” Jim offered. Maybe if he got some food in him, he’d get a more level head. They went to a diner where Ed ate his weight in pancakes. He didn’t usually didn’t indulge in sweet breakfast foods, but today was an exception. Belly full of warm pancakes, he promptly passed out when his head hit the pillow.

 **Anger**  
From the moment Ed woke up he had a drink in his hand. 3/4ths of a bottle of whiskey was gone by the time Jim came upstairs to check on him. 

“Whoa, easy there Nygma its only nine.” Jim tried to pry the bottle from his hand, but Ed put up a fight until the bottle slipped and shattered on the floor. Before Jim could leave the room to get a broom, Ed was grabbing the glass with his bare hands. Blood dripped from his palms but all he did was stare at it. 

“Ed, drop the glass!” He commanded and Ed obliged, pieces still stuck in his skin. 

“He wanted me to hurt. He knew this would tear me apart. ARE YOU HAPPY OSWALD? YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. YOU WERE RIGHT!” Ed looked at the picture of Oswald beside the bed. “I’m lost without you.”

“Ed, listen. I know it hurts. When I lost my dad, I was a wreck. Sure he wasn’t a saint sometimes but he was one of my best friends. I was so angry at the driver who killed him, but I was angry at him for dying. Something that helped me was taking out my aggression, so you have any acquaintances with a safe place to let out those feelings you should call them.” Jim advised. That advice is what led him to the warehouse of one Mr. Victor Zsasz.

“Feel free to use anything but the rocket launcher, gotta work out some kinks with that.” Zsasz said, popping a donut hole into his mouth. 

“This is all great Zsasz, but do you have anything that I can use these on?” 

Zsasz grinned and nodded. He practically skipped away and returned with a tied up man. 

“I was saving him for later, but you can have him. Don’t hesitate to kill him, he thought it was a good idea to short me on the cash I was owed.” 

Ed wasn’t in the mood for his usual Riddler flair, he just wanted to let his anger out. The man squirmed as Ed sat him up against the wall. He cocked the pistol in his hand before pointing it between the mans eyes and pulled the trigger. Once the body slumped to the ground, Ed started kicking the corpse. Screaming and crying, the tall man didn’t let up until he realized he had lost track of time.

“Never seen someone kick something for a straight hour, impressive.” Zsasz remarked. When had he came back in the room? Why had he been watching the entire time? 

From the warehouse, Ed headed to Oswald’s grave. He was surprised to find Ivy Pepper, sitting next to the headstone and talking to it. 

“...the tree we planted is still going strong. I’m going to ask Ed if I can plant some flowers here. Do you want lilies or tulips?” 

“I think he’d like lilies, his mother liked them.” 

Ivy looked up. 

“Oh hi Ed, I was just talking with Pen- I mean Oswald. I try to come every day to talk to him, not that he ever answers.” She chuckled sadly. Ed nodded, sitting down next to her on the ground. Oswald would’ve hated that Ed was getting dirt on such a nice suit, but he also wouldn’t have appreciated that he’d been wearing said suit for almost three days now. 

“Seems like he could never shut his mouth, and now when we want him to talk he’s silent.” Ed commented. Her petite hand rested on his.,

 **BARGAINING**  
“I know they say it was sudden, but I’d been telling him to go for months to see the doctor for a physical. Why didn’t I just put him in the car and go?” 

“You know he would’ve fought you about it. It doesn’t matter how much he loved you, he would’ve been a brat about it.” 

Loved, it’s funny how one letter that break your heart into a million pieces. He doesn’t love you, he loved you. A flame never to be reignited. 

“Maybe if I had told him I love him...maybe things would be different.” Ed murmured. 

“I heard once that deaths are fixed events, set in stone from the moment you’re born. If that’s the case then you admitting your feelings wouldn’t fix anything, he’d still end up here.” Ivy responded. They sat and talked for awhile, reminiscing on their friends sass and snark until the sun set. 

“I have to go, but if you ever need a friend just call. I’ll bring that basil plant over tomorrow okay?” She asked. Ed nodded and watched her leave. 

Ed went through three of the five stages of grief fairly quickly, besides the hallucinations of Oswald, but there was one that hit him hard. 

**Depression**  
Using some of the money Oswald left for Ed in his will, the lanky man rented a cheap apartment. He needed a place to be left alone. Not even bothering to by furniture beyond the bed, he didn’t need anything else. 

For nearly three months he laid in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom and to eat when his stomach began to hurt so bad that it was unbearable. Memories of Oswald played in his mind like a song stuck on repeat. 

Seeing him for the first time in the GCPD  
 _And I wake up alone_  
Finding Oswald injured in the woods like the fragile bird he was  
 _And I wake up alone_  
Coming to the manor after falling for Isabella, unaware that Oswald loved him  
 _And I wake up alone_  
Deciding to sleep instead of checking on him one last time   
_And I wake up alone_

Had a concerned neighbor not called the GCPD it would’ve been months before Jim found Ed. She called because through the thin apartment walls she heard a man “crying, maniacally laughing, and saying how he’d brutally kill several people.” 

Normally Jim would need a warrant, but in this case an exception was made. He picked the lock, and the scene he saw floored him. There was no furniture, just a mattress with a sheet. Wallpaper was torn off the wall in spots, and in its place the word ALONE was written in what Jim hoped wasn’t blood. 

“Nygma?” He called out, treading lightly around the apartment to see just how far off the deep end Ed had gone. 

“Jim?” Ed croaked. He was practically skin and bones, and it was obvious he hadn’t bathed in awhile. Once groomed, his hair was now plastered to his face with grease and god knows what else. Instead of his usual suit, Ed was in a grey t shirt and boxers. 

“Have you been here for three months? How have you been living like this? Have you bathed? Because you smell like a corpse.” Jim interrogated. This kind of behavior was not okay, but Ed was a shell of the man he was and needed to be coaxed. 

“Just go away, I’m an adult who can make his own decisions.” 

Jim desperately wanted to tell him off, to slap some sense into him. Maybe he would respond better to a softer approach. 

When Lee arrived, she was prepared. She brought shampoo, body wash, a fresh outfit, and groceries to make a meal that wasn’t instant ramen. While Jim started on cooking, Lee herded Ed to the bathroom. 

“How do you like your water?” She asked. Ed shrugged. 

“Ed, I need you to look at me and listen. Oswald would want you to bathe, would he like to see you like this? Treat this like any other day, take a shower then the food should be done.” Her soft tone made Ed feel at ease. 

When she left the bathroom, he disrobed and stepped into the hot water. It stung a bit but it wasn’t unpleasant, it actually felt nice to cleanse himself. After his hair and body was clean, Ed sat on the shower floor and let the water fall on him like rain. Either Lee knew him well, or she went to his other apartment because the clothes were perfect. 

A button down checkered shirt, and a basic pant. He hadn’t worn such a casual outfit since way before Oswald’s passing. Maybe it was a last ditch effort to bring him back to the Ed he once was, maybe she just grabbed the first outfit she saw. 

On the menu for dinner was chicken Alfredo. Ed only agreed to eat if they also did, so they politely ate a little bit. It was only when he was left alone that he binge ate the Alfredo, not leaving a single noodle. 

**Acceptance**  
A year went by faster than anticipated, and Ed was on his way to Oswald’s grave. Though he visited weekly, this visit was extra special because some of Oswald’s closest colleagues and acquaintances were joining. Getting past his depression was difficult, he triumphed over it and was now back to committing crimes. 

He was pleased to see that he was the first there, it meant he had a moment alone with Oswald before the others arrived. Running his hand across the cool stone, he murmured a hello. The others arrived soon after, with Barbara arriving last and fashionably late. Each of the attendees had brought a bottle of champagne, per Ed’s request.

“A year ago today, we stood here and watched Oswald be laid to rest. While we’ve moved forward, his memory will always stay with us. Whether you see a nice umbrella, or hear someone throwing a tantrum in a public place; the idea of Oswald will pop into your mind. Oswald Cobblepot may be dead, but I am not. Because of him, I am the man I am today. He taught me so much and I know I could not be my full potential had I never met him. So today, we’ll drink to his memory and remember him. To Oswald!”

“To Oswald!”

Corks were popped and drinks were had, it was the best time any of them had in a cemetery (except for Zsasz who once had a date in one, but this was a close second). 

As much as Ed wished Oswald was alive and drinking champagne beside him. They’d share a glass and laugh about all of their adventures. Maybe they’d even hug and finally share a kiss. All of those things sounded great...but until Ed met him in whatever afterlife fate had planned, leaning his head against Oswald’s headstone would have to do for now.


End file.
